Well another year has ended. As 2010 drew to a close I said many times that I couldn't wait for the year to end. "Ugh, what a bad year"; "I just want the year to end". I don't know why, though. What difference does it make? No matter how far away 2010 gets, it was still a terrible, terrible year and that memory will be emblazoned in my mind forever.
But I hate to sound ungrateful. I thoroughly enjoyed watching my boys grow and flourish this year. They were super awesome. Andrew graduated from pre-k and began kindergarten. Davis got on the potty train - I never again have to buy a package of diapers.
I enjoyed the trip to Disney World with the boys. I enjoyed my trips to the beach with them. Every day my children amaze me. And from now on, each day that these boys amaze me, I will think of Christopher and get just a little sad. Pathetic, isn't it?
I went to the doctor and he confirmed to me that I'm not suffering through depression but just grief. And that was a relief. But only kinda. He told me that all my feelings were natural and progressive. These were the normal progressions of grief. It didn't help me. But it didn't hurt either.
So anther year passes and I still feel the same pain and grief, but I still look forward to what is ahead with my boys. I still look forward to what is to come in my life with everything around me.
So happy 2011. And here's hoping that we all make it through with our families completely intact.
But I hate to sound ungrateful. I thoroughly enjoyed watching my boys grow and flourish this year. They were super awesome. Andrew graduated from pre-k and began kindergarten. Davis got on the potty train - I never again have to buy a package of diapers.
I enjoyed the trip to Disney World with the boys. I enjoyed my trips to the beach with them. Every day my children amaze me. And from now on, each day that these boys amaze me, I will think of Christopher and get just a little sad. Pathetic, isn't it?
I went to the doctor and he confirmed to me that I'm not suffering through depression but just grief. And that was a relief. But only kinda. He told me that all my feelings were natural and progressive. These were the normal progressions of grief. It didn't help me. But it didn't hurt either.
So anther year passes and I still feel the same pain and grief, but I still look forward to what is ahead with my boys. I still look forward to what is to come in my life with everything around me.
So happy 2011. And here's hoping that we all make it through with our families completely intact.