It's at this time of year that everyone tends to step back and reflect on the year that has passed and starts thinking about the year ahead. Each year for the past 13 years, at the stroke of midnight, I have leaned upward and inward and planted a big kiss on my husband's lips, feeling a comfort and love that he provides ends the year perfectly and starts the new year even better.
2013 was a wonderful year for us. We traveled to new places with our children; we were healthy; we were happy. We had successes - and failures - in our jobs. We had celebrations. We also had worry. And we had tears.
In 2014 I turn 40. So I thought it would be a good time to reflect on my 30s as I start the goodbye process.
In my 30s I became a mother. And nothing has changed me more. I've always been an empathetic person, but nothing brought out more compassion, more fear, and more responsibility than motherhood. Nothing else created the need for comfortable pants like motherhood, too. And if only someone could invent a more comfortable bra, perhaps I'd wear one more often inside the home and my boobs wouldn't be sagging like they are.
In my 30s I learned that weight doesn't fall off your body magically like it did in your 20s. I learned that few things are as important as sleep. I learned that - unlike in college - I can function on less than 8 hours of sleep. Shit - I learned in my 30s that I can function on about 3-5 hours of sleep - though I guess "function" is a relative term.
I learned that I'm still an independent woman, but that I cannot do everything on my own. I learned that it's ok to ask for help. I learned that it's ok for others to step in and do something that for the longest time was ONLY my job.
I learned the importance of having girlfriends. Nothing is better than gathering with a group of close friends and talking; we are each other's therapist. We make each other laugh. We help each other realize that our children aren't necessarily weird. They're just being children. And we are a group of girls who see each other through life - whatever life may bring ... divorce, child birth, the death of a child, the death of a parent, a fight between spouses. Each get-together confirms what we already know - good friends are irreplaceable.
I learned that I couldn't care less what others say about me. Those types of things aren't important. I have my husband who loves me unconditionally. I have my friends who will always have my back. I learned the importance of being a good friend. I learned the importance of expressing yourself creatively. I learned the importance of being me.
I learned that dealing with the loss of a child is something you never get over. I learned that dealing with that grief is different for everyone. I learned that it's ok to laugh again - but it's also ok to mourn. And I learned it's ok to celebrate life with laughter.
When I look in the mirror, I don't see someone old. I see someone who's laughed and loved and cried and celebrated and enjoyed every bit of life - both the good and the bad parts. I think the biggest difference between 30 and 40 is the expectations around me. At 40, I feel there are certain things I must do. At 40, it's perceived that I'm old enough to know better. At 40, I'm old enough to act right. But as far as I'm concerned, at 40 I'm old enough to say "I don't give a f*ck."
But I do give a f*ck. About a lot of people and a lot of things. But nothing is as important to me as my children, my husband, my family, and my friends. And all the other stuff is just extra - be it good or bad.
What's going on around me is life. This is it. I learned in my 30s not to wait for life to happen but instead to live it. Live. It. Don't wait for things to happen around you. Don't wait for something better to come along. This is it. Life. And life is as amazing as you want it to be. So in my 40s I will embrace this wonderful life I have around me and I will drink it up. I will swim in it. And though every moment of it may not be enjoyable, I'm going to enjoy it as much as possible. And I'm going to deal with the adversities the best way I know how - the best way these 39 years of life have taught me.
2013 was a wonderful year for us. We traveled to new places with our children; we were healthy; we were happy. We had successes - and failures - in our jobs. We had celebrations. We also had worry. And we had tears.
In 2014 I turn 40. So I thought it would be a good time to reflect on my 30s as I start the goodbye process.
In my 30s I became a mother. And nothing has changed me more. I've always been an empathetic person, but nothing brought out more compassion, more fear, and more responsibility than motherhood. Nothing else created the need for comfortable pants like motherhood, too. And if only someone could invent a more comfortable bra, perhaps I'd wear one more often inside the home and my boobs wouldn't be sagging like they are.
In my 30s I learned that weight doesn't fall off your body magically like it did in your 20s. I learned that few things are as important as sleep. I learned that - unlike in college - I can function on less than 8 hours of sleep. Shit - I learned in my 30s that I can function on about 3-5 hours of sleep - though I guess "function" is a relative term.
I learned that I'm still an independent woman, but that I cannot do everything on my own. I learned that it's ok to ask for help. I learned that it's ok for others to step in and do something that for the longest time was ONLY my job.
I learned the importance of having girlfriends. Nothing is better than gathering with a group of close friends and talking; we are each other's therapist. We make each other laugh. We help each other realize that our children aren't necessarily weird. They're just being children. And we are a group of girls who see each other through life - whatever life may bring ... divorce, child birth, the death of a child, the death of a parent, a fight between spouses. Each get-together confirms what we already know - good friends are irreplaceable.
I learned that I couldn't care less what others say about me. Those types of things aren't important. I have my husband who loves me unconditionally. I have my friends who will always have my back. I learned the importance of being a good friend. I learned the importance of expressing yourself creatively. I learned the importance of being me.
I learned that dealing with the loss of a child is something you never get over. I learned that dealing with that grief is different for everyone. I learned that it's ok to laugh again - but it's also ok to mourn. And I learned it's ok to celebrate life with laughter.
But I do give a f*ck. About a lot of people and a lot of things. But nothing is as important to me as my children, my husband, my family, and my friends. And all the other stuff is just extra - be it good or bad.
What's going on around me is life. This is it. I learned in my 30s not to wait for life to happen but instead to live it. Live. It. Don't wait for things to happen around you. Don't wait for something better to come along. This is it. Life. And life is as amazing as you want it to be. So in my 40s I will embrace this wonderful life I have around me and I will drink it up. I will swim in it. And though every moment of it may not be enjoyable, I'm going to enjoy it as much as possible. And I'm going to deal with the adversities the best way I know how - the best way these 39 years of life have taught me.