today ...

... was the beginning of the end. Today, we met with Andrew's kindergarten teacher. KINDERGARTEN! It was just last week that we brought him home from the hospital in his cute little fleece outfit that was white with yellow duckies all over it. And last night was the first night he made it through the night without a pull-up. And next Tuesday he starts kindergarten?? WTF?

Then it's going to be later in the week that he's going to go to his first middle-school dance. Then he's going to be trying out for the high school soccer team. In two weeks, while I'm away at the beach, he'll get his driver's license. When I get back from the beach on the 18th, I'll have to hurry off to graduation.

I'm afraid I'm not going to deal with this very well. That big yellow monster is going to swallow him up and carry him away from me. And I'm going to hurt.

I've been told on more than one occasion that boys leave their mothers. Around the age of 15, 16, 17, they start to pull away, declare their independence, and leave. I've also been told that by the age of 22 or 23, they come back. I don't want to wait that long. I don't want my sweet, sincere, beautiful blue-eyed little boy to ever leave me. I want him to be my little baby forever.

Uh, I'm afraid I'm not going to deal with this very well. Not well at all.