It's the time of year when everyone takes a deep breath and reflects on all they have to be thankful for ... I've found over the course of the last several years that I don't do this on the designated day alone. I do it almost every day. Not because I feel the need to be thankful every day necessarily, but I have seen - and unfortunately more than once - someone's life pulled out from under them without any notice. And I figure I need to appreciate it while I have it, because without warning, my life could change in an instant. And that terrifies me. I'm not a glass-half-empty kinda gal, but I certainly know that on the brighter side, the dark side is only a corner-turn away.
My friend Kasia amazes me. Since August 2011 she has had her life stolen from her completely. And while it may be argued that I don't know the full story, I can promise any reader that I know enough to pass judgment. And I know Kasia well enough to know better.
After high school we lost touch. But when we reconnected just before her wedding, it was like we never separated. She and I always had the ability to tell each other the truth. About everything. Anything. And I have no reason to believe that would change. Because the things she's told me aren't things always to be proud of. But they were what made us human. And as humans, we know that we have warts. It's just a matter of whether or not your friends wish to look past those warts and accept you no matter what. Or if your "friends" are going to walk away after you've exposed those warts.
Unfortunately for me, I never really had a lot of time to spend with Kasia and her son. The moments I had with her and Alex (it should be noted that "Alex" was a name we voted for once ...) it was clear that Alex was her life. Her love. Her everything. One night over dinner she and I discussed my nephew's passing. We discussed in great detail my brother's pain and my pain. And while it was clear that Kasia had the deepest sympathy for both of us, I could tell that when I used words explaining how I felt about his being gone, she too was feeling those same emotions. When Alex was taken from her, it was like he died. And when that happened, something inside of Kasia died.
I've said before that no mother should ever have to bury her child. I am a big believer in that. But no child should ever be without his mother. And no self-respecting person would try to take a son away from a mother when he knows deep down that the child is ok ... thriving, in fact. It's one thing to lose your child from an accident or an illness. It's another when you lose your child because of the hatred and spitefulness of someone else. The anger coupled with the pain is overwhelming, I'm sure. I hope I never have to know it personally. But having watched Kasia's ordeal from the front row, the pain is still too real for me.
So today, and every day, I'm thankful for my husband and my boys. I'm thankful for the unconditional love they give me. I'm thankful for my friends who accept me for who I am - warts and all. I'm thankful for my family who, for all their warts, and for all their craziness, are the best family anyone could wish for. The unconditional love in our family is unparalleled.
For all this, I'm terribly thankful. And I'm thinking of my friends who are alone this year. Who are dealing with pain. With heartache. With sorrow. Just because it's the holiday season doesn't make everyone rejoiceful. And sometimes it's easy to forget that ...
After high school we lost touch. But when we reconnected just before her wedding, it was like we never separated. She and I always had the ability to tell each other the truth. About everything. Anything. And I have no reason to believe that would change. Because the things she's told me aren't things always to be proud of. But they were what made us human. And as humans, we know that we have warts. It's just a matter of whether or not your friends wish to look past those warts and accept you no matter what. Or if your "friends" are going to walk away after you've exposed those warts.
I've said before that no mother should ever have to bury her child. I am a big believer in that. But no child should ever be without his mother. And no self-respecting person would try to take a son away from a mother when he knows deep down that the child is ok ... thriving, in fact. It's one thing to lose your child from an accident or an illness. It's another when you lose your child because of the hatred and spitefulness of someone else. The anger coupled with the pain is overwhelming, I'm sure. I hope I never have to know it personally. But having watched Kasia's ordeal from the front row, the pain is still too real for me.
So today, and every day, I'm thankful for my husband and my boys. I'm thankful for the unconditional love they give me. I'm thankful for my friends who accept me for who I am - warts and all. I'm thankful for my family who, for all their warts, and for all their craziness, are the best family anyone could wish for. The unconditional love in our family is unparalleled.
For all this, I'm terribly thankful. And I'm thinking of my friends who are alone this year. Who are dealing with pain. With heartache. With sorrow. Just because it's the holiday season doesn't make everyone rejoiceful. And sometimes it's easy to forget that ...